Horse Men

I'll wager my last bar of snicker ice-cream, that during post production, the people responsible for this film were thinking something to this effect:

"Ok, we are Hollywood,"

"Hollywood we are!"

"And although it's taken us far too many bad movies to realise this, we've finally established, without doubt the we are no good at making horror films."

"That we have established."

"This is mainly due to the fact that we are run by visionless, dim-witted, financially-minded Yanks without an ounce of culture or good-breeding."

"Not an ounce of good-breeding, no sir!"

"So here's my thought. Let's exploit (which is what we do best!!) the best horror films, and put together all those elements that made them so successful."

"Exploit! Exploit! It's what we do best!"

CHECKLIST

• The Exorcist and Omen - Biblical freakyness: CHECK
• SAW, Hostel etc. - Gore: CHECK
• Ringu, Ju-On and other Japanese successes - long, dark haired Oriental woman wot moves funny: CHECK
• 7even, Bone Collector etc. - A highly intellegent, highly skilled killer with great imagination and creativity: CHECK

The result, a gory, freaky guessing game with enough depth to keep you genuinely interrested until it culminates into a royal anti-climax.

Moral: Fear Emos

Verdict: Angsty, American teenagers should be relegated back to their marginal role of angst-ridden, consumers of really bad emo-rock who occaissionally threaten to self-harm, but fail to gain sympathy or draw attention from anyone. We find them more entertaining that way.