Day: 2nd of Rajab
Time: 18:04 (an insignificantly small amount of minutes passing 6 in English, which allows me to round the time off to 6:00- 2 hours 25 minutes before iftar...yes, I'm fasting.)
Location: Uni (not officially back yet, but even being in the building feels good)

Just sent an email to Dr Tim Winter. a.k.a the Cambridge professor of Islamic and Middle Eastern Studies-convert Muslim-increadibly cool guy who looks like Ralph Fines! (And if that doesn't overwhelm you, you gotta say it all in one breath...see.)

I've tried to start this blog off on a good note, but it hasn't seemed to work...Feeling a bit depressed...don't know why.
And what else is new, right? Thats what you were gonna say right? Yeah I know what you were thinking, don't deny it.
I'll tell you what you wasn't thinking though. You wasn't thinking I'd say I was resigned to being this way just as I am resigned to being an Ice-Berg. Yeah, I'm embracing my misery too now. And if you think that's sad, I'll tell you whats more sad. Whats more sad is not knowing who you are any more. Whats more sad is not being able to trust anything you feel or think. Whats more sad is growing up and still having a crush on Peter Pan. Thats more sad. And you can add the fact that I'm 21, to turn it into a true tragey, Nobokov style. "Look at this tangle of thorns." ...Do you know what puts a fancy spin on hating the world though?
Hating yourself.


You're right Chiaki...
My whole life has been a mistake.

My hands are covered in blood.

...So much blood.

All the tears in the universe couldn't wash my hands clean now.

(Akuma no Ororon)

Yes, last night I dreamt of Dustin Hoffman. Why? It is a mystery. Yet the greater mystery is that I actually dreamt that it was Dustin Hoffman, while it was in fact the guy who played Lex Luther in the very first Superman...you remember him? Yeah, well I can't remember his name for the life of me, so you better, and if you don't it doesn't matter really coz who cares right? I mean, of all the people in the world, Dustin Hoffman..??

You can trust a psycopath to make a fancy come-back...thats right, I haven't written here for ages, but now I'm here. Why was I not here before? Well lets see:

Week 1: Painted new place WHITE.
Week 2: Fitted carpets and linoleum flooring.
Week 3: Packed up life, and moved in.

Any way, I'd initially intended for the place to look like a mini monastary, but it has obstinately refused to do so...and now its just kinda minimalistic-ish...I will try to keep it that way, which, at this point, looks like it may prove to be quite a battle, since my family is packing up their lives, and anything my mom decides not to take to Turkey with her, she tries to give to me.

Mom: Elest I want to give you this fruit bowl.
Elest: NO!
Mom: Why? Where will you put your fruits?
Elest: I don't want fruits. I don't want a fruit bowl. I wan't my house empty, like a monastary.
Mom: Ok, I'll give you the spot-lights then.
Elest: NO! NO SPOT-LIGHTS!
Mom: The Shelves?
Elest: NOOOOOOOO SHELVES! I DON'T WANT ANYTHING! I WANT EMPTINESS! EMPTINEEEEEEEEEESSS!
(and Elest loses her mind)
In spite of my refusals I think she may secretly be smuggling unwanted material to my abode, because I sense a clatter...yes, I sense it in the Kitchen. SHe must have hidden something in the cupboards. I will sniff them ouot and do away with them, nothing can escape me! MUWA HA HA HA! (leers like a maniac, shifty eyes gleeming.)

Any way, with all that aside, my current status is thus...
Man of moment: Ororon.
Last Film watched: Big Fish...dodgey film.
Last Manga read: Ororon volume 3.
Creativity: Minimal, read a few pages of Da Novel last night, and highleted the paragraphs I though needed further scrutiny.
Recent Purchases: Books from Waterstones! Oh how exciting!!
Ooh, New Books?: Yep- 'The Maters and Margarita', 'Everything is Illuminated', 'Rebecca' (for English Lit. and Film course), and 'Lolita' (No I'm not a perv, that one's for my Post War American Lit. course.)
Current reading: The Master and Margarita by Mikhail Bulgakov.
Recent orders from Amazon: Fruits Basket Volume 3! Oh even more exciting! ..and a new Manga called Immortal Rain, lets see if its any good.
Financial status: Not promissing, but could be worse, so Alhamduallah.
Current feelings: I'm hungry...and I have an interresting pain in my lower tummy..hmm.

and now I must go back to helping my mom pack her life.
Tallyhoooo.