I'm sitting here trying to collect my thoughts, though I shouldn't be, I should be in a lecture...and then a seminar. Instead, I surf the net for some info on James Bond Goldfinger...you know apparently there is this urban legend about the film, claiming that the actress who played Jill Masterton died after beig painted in gold to shoot that death scene, coz back then people actually believed that if your skin couldn't breathe you'd die. HA HA HA HA! ...and with that random bit of info asside, why doesn't Elest tell us why she is sitting here reading fan trivia on a stupid Bond film, when she should be in her Lectures/seminars?
Like I said, I'm trying to collect my thoughts...I need to decide what to do, after having woken up this morning and realised to my utter dissapointment that I'm not dead, the world hasn't ended, and I haven't mercifully lost my sanity. What I have lost ofcourse, and what I have to deal with, is a lot more precious. So precious the thought of a room with soft walls is increadibly comforting.
It's scary how animal, how beast, how utterly inhuman the wail of devastation sounds. It's scary when u realise there is no saftey net, no help, no invisible spider web string attached to save you from falling. and it's even more horendous when, bleary eyed, you have to get up again and face the world with all the great new discoveries you've made of yourself.
I've lost two battles in one night. And I still am.

I don't want to be alone any more.

Time: 20:00.
Location: Uncle's house.
Sounds: A lot of Cypriots talking loudly about...hang on...(listens)...their disputing the ownership of an object unknown to me because I am in another room...yes, Cypriots naturally speak very loud, even when they are not arguing or drunk.
Feeling: Vague discomfort after a very unnerving meal.
Why? Can someone tell me why (??) is it that my non-Muslim friends who don't know jack about Islam, readily respect the fact that I do not consume some things, and yet my extended family have to start some hoo-haa over the fact that I won't eat the meat I am served because, not only did I already have some qualms about its halal-ness but finding out that it was cooked marrinating in red wine, simply tipped the domino. Which I might add, I find out after it's put in my plate, because although I was made to believe it was bought from Turks (hence qualifying as halal, duh!), after having inquired, apparently it didn't occur to them at all that the red wine would bother me.
So I've hid myself away in my uncles office, to flee, if only momentarily, fromg having to endure the discomfort of aloofly sitting with them, and representing, with every aspect of my out-of-place presence, everything they have rejected with every aspect of their living.
Yeah, I think I would have perferred spending Eid alone in my flat, as tragic as that senario would have been, I tink it beats this.
So what am I preoccupying myself with? That new Chinese film- 'House of Flying Daggers' (yeah I KNOW it's got a stupid name OKAY! Sheesh, It's Chinese for God's sake, give it a break) thats coming out this Christmas...OH MY GOD I JUST WATCHED THE TRAILER AND IT LOOKS SO GOOD! And why, I hear u ask am I especially excited about this Chinky film, Post-CrouchingTigerDissapointment, and even when I didn't give a crap when Hero came out?...One word (nah actually, make that two): Takeshi Kaneshiro! (wild cheering) Yes, my Saimecanii, I can see u grinning with glee and squeeling with excitment even from London, and the rest of the world heard u.
And now I shall change the subject...I can hear my cousin asking his sis where I am...must keep quiet...man that kid's voice is breaking big time, soon I gotta start covering my hair in front of him..HAA! IMAGINE THE HOO-HAA THEN! HA HA HA HAA HAAaaa... how pathetic. huh? whats that I hear...kids are watching Chicago..hang on, I've never actually seen that film, but how suitable is it for children? ah, screw that, last time I had to endure watching Friends with them, and Rachel was giving birth and everything, of course, knowing my luck Koray (male cousin, breaking voice) asks me:'Sevim Abla, what does dilate mean?' FOR GOD'S SAKE, EVEN I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT IT BLOODY MEANT UNTILL I WAS SUBJECTED TO THAT BLASTED EPISODE, AND I HAVE THIS KID ASK ME!
Ok, I'm going now...feeling queasy...me no likey all this birth talk (goes paler, if thats possible).
Me gonna see that trailer again now :)
Bye Bye.

Good afternoon.
I am excited. Why? coz There is this realy cool anime coming out soon, just watched the trailer! but the crap thing is, it's only just hitting cinemas in Japan...which means it'll be a while coming to dis dumb beee-hind conuntry. See what I occupy myself with when George Bush is getting elected in the U.S again and the world is going to the dogs.
Shakila has gone to Thailand, which gives me a bigger reason to hate her.... I am writing in Yellow today, coz I likes it...
...And what else is new? Nothing really.
Oh, heres somthing rather interresting, Saturday night I was with grandparents in front of the TV watching...(drum roll please) A Turkish Soap! and guess what happened. I observed, to my utter amazement, that one of the guys in it, was cute. and I mean really cute. like, cute like Turks aren't supposed to be that cute, cute. And it has been botherring me ever since. Why was this guy cute? Was he cute coz my high and mighty pickiness in men is slowly dwindling and diminishing. Can't be. So what? WHYYYYY? WHYYYY WAS HE CUTE DAMNIT!? WHYYY!?
Any way, the name of the soap- and I'm only drawing attention to this coz I like translating Turkish things into English when I know they is gonna sound stupid- was 'Kinali Kar' which means...(drum roll again pleez) 'Snow with Henna on it!' -Tehe he he he heee! oh I crack myself up..(whipes tear from eye) Any way, where were we? Yes thats right, another observation about Turkey, and this one is curtesy of Jarrad, who was down there a week ago:
A while back, a Turkish food company by the name of Ulker, decided to launch a new soft drink by the name of Cola Turka. And when u do something as crazy as that, in a country which is so fascistly nationalistic it aint even funny any more, u know the great mass market giant, is gonna go down. Ladies and Gentleman, Cola Turka beat Cocacola in the Turkish mass market. Thankyou.

How many more seminars can I tollerate with Abu talking about homo-erotisim and the male organ? hmmm, lets make a bet and see. I bet anyone who's up for it a white-grapefruit that the next time Abu says the 'P' word, the scenario in Gordon's seminar will look like this:

Elest sits up in the seat she was languidly reclining in, only moments ago, locates the nearest copy of THE COMPLETE NORTON SHAKESPEARE, and to the horror of Mr. German-cum-South African-LookHowISitWithMyLegsSo-WIDE-Apart, and the utter glee of every girl in the class, hurrls the gigantic volume across the room at the offending party in question. Consequently ruffling Mr. Germans ordinarily very preened gay feathers, who gayly prances across the room, picks up his Shakespeare with exagerated irritation and prances back to seat next to a scrutinising Carla. At which point Misba suppresses an amused smile to herself, and writes notes to her friend who doesn't want to be convinced that Mr. German- though we do not know WHAT he is- is most definately NOT STRAIGHT. Sarah giggles and stares at the lip-piercing across the room, the owner of which looks like a frightened bunny in car headlights. Gordon makes a joke and laughs at it himself. The seminar resumes as though no one was lying unconcious upon the floor.

Well hello hello hello...tee he he he. I'm high right now, only coz an hour ago i was at the complete other end of the psicho scale: very very low. And really, now that i think of it i have nothing to write, so i wont write much coz da stupid brit.lit and film lecture is starting in...he he, half an hour. ok dats no excuse, my excuse is Sarah who is sitting next to me getting bored coz unlike me she have a life and is not terribly thrilled by bloggs and what not. speaking of whom, I have infected Sarah with the Haido craze. MUWA HA HA HA HA! yes, she like him too now :) which don't mean nothing really, coz she like weirdos too, so we're back to square one.
Any way, so sorry I didn't updat last Friday as I should have. I'm doing so now, which also means new CLICK ME pic! yes this weeks CLICK ME pic is entitled 'what is Haido thinking' so please feel free to voice ur suggestions. Which also brings us to last weeks CLICK ME pic- me thinks the safest bet is to say that: Haido has paused in mid cartwheel, having been obstructed by the cupboard and is now trying to see how much ballet his trousers can take without splitting. AND THEY ARE NOT PVC, THEI'RE LEATHER!
Which reminds me. Last saturday Elest found out to her utter horror that a certain someone *cough* Joshua *cough* *cough* is seriously not worth having a stupid quarter-life-crisis-crush on.
Man. dis morning on the bus I saw this buddhist guy walking down the street in his robes like nothing and no one matterred to him, and i thought in my mind; God, you know better than me what it is I'm yearning for, and I'm so lost in not knowing anything. Guide me somewhere, please.