A lip piercing...
...along with the maniac smile.
How do you react in the face of utter not-knowing?
See what I mean.
ps. It's a guy.
Chapter 19 – Girls’ Night Out
6 years ago
Tuesday, July 12, 2005
No brakes.
Looking at it now, there is this sick sense of selfishness about the blog of late Wendsday night and early Tursday morning of the London terrorist attacks.
There is a sick sense of selfishness about how oblivious and superficial this piece of self-preoccupation is.
When you stand back and look at it all now, as a larger picture of past and present, there is something so small and self-absorbed and so increadibly stupid about it and about us and how we are and what we do
...and you think, God, knowing and watching in an existence outside our reality and perception limmited by the states of past, present and a future we will never know, even mili-seconds before it becomes now, must see us for how futile and ridiculous we are.
There is a sick sense of selfishness in feeling relieved over the fact that no one I know got hurt or dead.
There is an even sicker sense of selfishness about being able to move on.
We are selfish by nature. And I think it is because we're all so increadibly alone even in the misery we share.
...And finally there is something selfish about words, and about trying to explain or write or speak of other people's sufferring, in a selfish plight to show sympathy.
And though no one I know was hurt or lost, this has effected all of us more than we think...and not only because with every such act of selfishness we commit, we lose just that much more of our humanity.
Fasten your seat belts, from here on, either it ends or it's a chaotic plummet down.
Looking at it now, there is this sick sense of selfishness about the blog of late Wendsday night and early Tursday morning of the London terrorist attacks.
There is a sick sense of selfishness about how oblivious and superficial this piece of self-preoccupation is.
When you stand back and look at it all now, as a larger picture of past and present, there is something so small and self-absorbed and so increadibly stupid about it and about us and how we are and what we do
...and you think, God, knowing and watching in an existence outside our reality and perception limmited by the states of past, present and a future we will never know, even mili-seconds before it becomes now, must see us for how futile and ridiculous we are.
There is a sick sense of selfishness in feeling relieved over the fact that no one I know got hurt or dead.
There is an even sicker sense of selfishness about being able to move on.
We are selfish by nature. And I think it is because we're all so increadibly alone even in the misery we share.
...And finally there is something selfish about words, and about trying to explain or write or speak of other people's sufferring, in a selfish plight to show sympathy.
And though no one I know was hurt or lost, this has effected all of us more than we think...and not only because with every such act of selfishness we commit, we lose just that much more of our humanity.
Fasten your seat belts, from here on, either it ends or it's a chaotic plummet down.
Wednesday, July 06, 2005
I got a 2:1! Woooohooooo!..err, I mean, Alhamdullah! and what's more, Subhanallah!
Now getting back to..Ehem, there...getting back to ordinary life: The Da Vinci code rocks. it rocks so hard, it is a most ingenious and convincing book which has convinced me that my own gal-bladder is a free mason.
Suspect everyone.
Oh my God, as I write this (it happens to be 2:06 in the morning by the way) Saimecan is talking in her sleep! lol, she said somethig about openning something or other...and I probed her further, but everything else was unintelligeble, and now she's quiet again.
By the way;
Peas porridge hot. Peas porridge cold. Peas porridge in a pot, nine days old.
I bring this up because I noticed during dinner today that my grandma's Tarhana soup had little bits of potato and green pepper floating arround in it, although Tarhana soup isn't supposed to have any such thing (and if you don't know that, it means u aint a Turk, and it means tough!). Curiously enough we had had potato and green pepper stew the night before, which reminded me that in the Youghurt soup the night before that, there were bits of beans floating about, which also did not belong, and this drove me to conclude that my Grandma has been recycling left-overs. and for the remainder of my meal, I found myself mulling over the following hypothesy: If my grandma, hypothetucally speaking, used left-over bean meal in the yoghurt soup, and then left-over youghurt soup in tomato rice the following day, and then left-over tomato rice in meat and potato stew the day after, and left-over stew in Tarhana soup, until technically I can be having traces of the five day old bean meal, or something even older and more gone off, in my soup today. Apetizzing right :)
Also;
Much earlier in the morning today, Saimecan and I sat with the newspaper, looking through the TV times when my grandfather (who is hard of hearing (which is irrelevant here, but just so you know)) walked in, stood over us and asked if 'that' was today's paper. We told him yes, at which point he promptly, but not impolitely, took it from us, gave us the childrens colouring pages (apparently overlooking the fact that Saimecan is 17 and I'm 22) and then went off to spend the rest of his day in his chair and behind the Turkish daily news.
What did Saimecan and Elest do? They started colouring of course. But that is besides the point, because now I come to the most vital part of my narrative, which is when Saimecan had to go and colour in a green ground and blue sky behind the two little children they'd coloured into mice, and this is what followed:
Elest: Why did you do that for, It looks awful!
Saimecan: You wanted to leave it blank?
Elest: YES!
Saimecan: Wha- WHY?! ...Isn't this better?
Elest: It's depressing!
Saimecan: (bemused) Ha?
Elest: It places the mice against a flat, banal background, and frames them in an empty, meaningless, 2-dimensional world...like they're trapped in an immovable, unchangeable reality...a grim eternity of running across flat green fields and under an ugly blue sky...like beyode the pages waits an infinity of more of this...like there is no way out!
Saimecan: ...
Elest: Can't you see it? It's yelling: this is all there is to LIFE, you insignificant little non-entities!
Saimecan: (taking the pcture from Elest) Someone should analise you.
Elest: Yes, thats why I was seeing a shrink.
Now getting back to..Ehem, there...getting back to ordinary life: The Da Vinci code rocks. it rocks so hard, it is a most ingenious and convincing book which has convinced me that my own gal-bladder is a free mason.
Suspect everyone.
Oh my God, as I write this (it happens to be 2:06 in the morning by the way) Saimecan is talking in her sleep! lol, she said somethig about openning something or other...and I probed her further, but everything else was unintelligeble, and now she's quiet again.
By the way;
Peas porridge hot. Peas porridge cold. Peas porridge in a pot, nine days old.
I bring this up because I noticed during dinner today that my grandma's Tarhana soup had little bits of potato and green pepper floating arround in it, although Tarhana soup isn't supposed to have any such thing (and if you don't know that, it means u aint a Turk, and it means tough!). Curiously enough we had had potato and green pepper stew the night before, which reminded me that in the Youghurt soup the night before that, there were bits of beans floating about, which also did not belong, and this drove me to conclude that my Grandma has been recycling left-overs. and for the remainder of my meal, I found myself mulling over the following hypothesy: If my grandma, hypothetucally speaking, used left-over bean meal in the yoghurt soup, and then left-over youghurt soup in tomato rice the following day, and then left-over tomato rice in meat and potato stew the day after, and left-over stew in Tarhana soup, until technically I can be having traces of the five day old bean meal, or something even older and more gone off, in my soup today. Apetizzing right :)
Also;
Much earlier in the morning today, Saimecan and I sat with the newspaper, looking through the TV times when my grandfather (who is hard of hearing (which is irrelevant here, but just so you know)) walked in, stood over us and asked if 'that' was today's paper. We told him yes, at which point he promptly, but not impolitely, took it from us, gave us the childrens colouring pages (apparently overlooking the fact that Saimecan is 17 and I'm 22) and then went off to spend the rest of his day in his chair and behind the Turkish daily news.
What did Saimecan and Elest do? They started colouring of course. But that is besides the point, because now I come to the most vital part of my narrative, which is when Saimecan had to go and colour in a green ground and blue sky behind the two little children they'd coloured into mice, and this is what followed:
Elest: Why did you do that for, It looks awful!
Saimecan: You wanted to leave it blank?
Elest: YES!
Saimecan: Wha- WHY?! ...Isn't this better?
Elest: It's depressing!
Saimecan: (bemused) Ha?
Elest: It places the mice against a flat, banal background, and frames them in an empty, meaningless, 2-dimensional world...like they're trapped in an immovable, unchangeable reality...a grim eternity of running across flat green fields and under an ugly blue sky...like beyode the pages waits an infinity of more of this...like there is no way out!
Saimecan: ...
Elest: Can't you see it? It's yelling: this is all there is to LIFE, you insignificant little non-entities!
Saimecan: (taking the pcture from Elest) Someone should analise you.
Elest: Yes, thats why I was seeing a shrink.
Sunday, July 03, 2005
Hello. Been away from home for the past few days and hence no net. The latest news from this part of the middle east (CNN tells me Turkey is located in the Middle East apparently, inspite of the fact that Turks will swear on their old mother's lives we are European, and Asians will say we are in Asia coz someone loves us thank God...but then the Yanks think the entire world is divided into the U.S and the Middle East, right? so sod them.) where was I? woe to me, such is the curse of the Literature student (and I still havent gotten my results yet)- ah yes, latest news from this side of the Middle East is that Huden (with lovely tan and red Samsonite suitcase (damn, I have to get me a suitcase still (damn, I also have to get Ryo his Darbuka still)) has gone off to visit beloved Hubby Daoud in Yank Land. havent heard from her yet, so dont know if she got there safely. (Hint, hint, if you are reading this call, onegaishimasu!)
And also, I seem to be rather ill apparently. Now usually I just ignore my illnesses until they feel neglected and get bored and go away, but this time my mom's convinced I need to see a doctor coz who would be coughing and feeling feeverish and tired and head-ache-ified and yellow in the face in the middle of summer? (oops, sorry I'm always yellow innit? make that green then) any way, I'm determined to spend tonight making my mystery illness feel so unwanted, it pisses off before tomorrow morning, coz honestly, I don't feel like going to a doctor.
Speaking of illnesses though, here's an observation I made recently:
The greatest fear of the Barbarian Turk, is a draft. they would rather suffocate to death in the swealterring heat of a stuffy bus, than open the windows and get a draft. why? -'oh coz we'll catch a cold!' ....IN THIS DAMN WEATHER, BLOODY PANSYS!?
...ponderring over this, I also realised Cyrpriots, who like walking around naked in their houses, and going to bed in the nude, are the complete oposites of Turks who are so terrified of colds, they stuff towels down the backs of their kids/ husbands shirts. why? -'oh coz he's sweated so much, he's all soaked, he'll catch pnemonia and drop dead this instant!'
so what has being a mix of nude-walking Cypriot and overdressing-Turk made us? I like walking arround in my underwear when no ones at home, Saimecan wears trousers under her skirts even when it's not cold, and Huden is the normallest out of the 3 of us I think.
Thank you.
And also, I seem to be rather ill apparently. Now usually I just ignore my illnesses until they feel neglected and get bored and go away, but this time my mom's convinced I need to see a doctor coz who would be coughing and feeling feeverish and tired and head-ache-ified and yellow in the face in the middle of summer? (oops, sorry I'm always yellow innit? make that green then) any way, I'm determined to spend tonight making my mystery illness feel so unwanted, it pisses off before tomorrow morning, coz honestly, I don't feel like going to a doctor.
Speaking of illnesses though, here's an observation I made recently:
The greatest fear of the Barbarian Turk, is a draft. they would rather suffocate to death in the swealterring heat of a stuffy bus, than open the windows and get a draft. why? -'oh coz we'll catch a cold!' ....IN THIS DAMN WEATHER, BLOODY PANSYS!?
...ponderring over this, I also realised Cyrpriots, who like walking around naked in their houses, and going to bed in the nude, are the complete oposites of Turks who are so terrified of colds, they stuff towels down the backs of their kids/ husbands shirts. why? -'oh coz he's sweated so much, he's all soaked, he'll catch pnemonia and drop dead this instant!'
so what has being a mix of nude-walking Cypriot and overdressing-Turk made us? I like walking arround in my underwear when no ones at home, Saimecan wears trousers under her skirts even when it's not cold, and Huden is the normallest out of the 3 of us I think.
Thank you.
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