- I laugh at your misfortune, stupid steriotypical female character, comfortably self indulging in the clear cut black & white dilemas your stupid Hollywood film is capable of throwing at you: HA HA HAAA!

**Hmmm, now where did we put that mug of green tea? Oh bother, it's in the kitchen.
You know, I got so desperate for feline affection this morning, i nicked our neighbours cat :) ...This is post-my encounter with Molier/Moliaaaa however u spell it. (sigh) it matters not, because for me, he will always be snuggly-tubby-puff-cake, memories of whom are making the pain in my back more easy to bear. Ouch. Yo guys aching too? I got home at exactly 1:19 last night, and everyone was 'manufacturing zzzzzzs' in the ever memorable words of Sasha the Shapka. -"Do not dub me that!"

That was so fun though, let's do it all again sometime soon. The heavy boxes too.
Meanwhile I gotta go and wash the dishes. Ouch...Woe to me, the world is so insensitive. Hence, I will put it off for as long as I can, just to spite it. The world I mean. The world which doesn't really give a shiKt about my dishes or domestic chores. That world.
But I pretend it does, coz when you make out like you're some '(you are) THE ONE (Neo)' super-heroin, whose great powers (which are destined to benefit mankind) still lie dormant and waiting to be awoken at the appointed time -and once enough kitchen utensils have been cleaned-...then life becomes more interresting, ne?

But has anyone ever asked me about my feelings on the matter? Oh No, fate's just dumped this thing on my lap, like an unwated puppy, without caring weather or not I'm ready for it. Perhaps I want to lead an ordinary life like everyone else. Perhaps I just want to wash my dishes...how do you think I feel about benefiting mankind. Does anyone give a crap? WELL?! (sigh) -thus is the fate of the super heroine :( at least I have my trusty snuggly-tubby-puff-cake by my side. He will roll on your face and suffocate you!

"Hey lady, don't die! Uh oh, her life's passing before her eyes, this is no good is it."- Ehem, sorry, the crazy is trying to come out again. Wait let's back track and try one more time.

**Hmmm (again), now let's see who's online: My bro, Jarrad and...Mooshoo? -oh, it's Misaki's Pat. Ok, I'm off. OFFFF I SAAY! and also, as of now, I have decided to spell my 'ouch'es with 'W's: OWCH!
...man this film Saimecan's watching, Hollywood as it is, has started to sound interresting, maybe i should join her.

Owch.

This whole emotional armour thing has really gotten out of hand i think, because last night i accidentialy dealt a worm in my balcony a fatal step-on and didn't even wince when i realised it. Bare foot. Kill Bill style, you know with the eye thing...OUT VILE JELLY! -no, that's King Lear. Oh God, I think I've really lost my mind :)

CURSE YOU MR. DARCY! ...It's pot lid and bunocuilars, what you want? -These are not withdrawl symptoms, and I swear on the HIGH I hate least I am not Uncle. wooo hooo, this is fuuuuun!
'Go and catch a falling star'...Here's to the annoying butterfly in The Last Unicorn:

Love is not love Which alters when it alteration finds, ..........Or bends with the remover to remove: O no! it is an ever-fixed mark ............That looks on tempests and is never shaken.
-When you've gone and said/done something completely idiotic, you can always suddenly quote Shakespeare and people will think you're some tortured, maddened genius with a great deal of depth beneath that shattered surface of what is your public facade!
WOOHOO, I SPEALT THAT SOOOO WRONG!

I used to have some depth to me, I swear...it just seems to have gone. Traceless like. And I have this sneaking suspicion that it may have something to do with the emotional armour I've been clad in for so long. Which is useful for when you don't want to let things get to you, but then, while it's keeping out the crap, non of the stuff which actually does matter can penetrate either...and it leaves you out of synch from that more subtle rythem of life, that plays itsself on a level apart from the obvious.
And you can't face a night sky or the sound of rain any more. You feel guilty. Like you owe them something, and you've put off paying up, for so long.

What I'm trying to say is: I can't break down yet.
But DAMNIT, it's killing me.

Great, and it's 2:00 in the morning now.

...It's the rain that I hear coming. Not a stranger or a ghost. It's the quiet of a storm approaching. That I fear the most...Darling, when. When did you fall? when was it over? ... I suppose it is the price of falling in love.

-Delerium, Innocente-

boredom is fundamental non-awareness.

-Robert Wilbur-
(quote of the day courtesy of Bro)

Pre-Millennium Tension

-Tricky-
(inspiration courtesy of Ryo)

Vague feeling of annoyance followed by shoulder-shrug-indefferance.

-The awkwardness of answerring the door without a headscarf-
(courtesy of the Electricity Metre Guy)

Irritation

-Bladder is full and I can't be faffed to go bathroom-
(courtesy of Green Tea)

Insecurity

-People keep telling me I look like a cute guy in my Free Palestine T-shirt :( -
(courtesy of Tas and now Misba)

Revelation

-I need a job, quick-
(courtesy of regularly updated Blog)

Wow, the sky is so blue today I wouldn't mind if it fell on my head :)

Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself. And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity.

- Paulo Cohelo, The Alchemist-

(thanx Tas)

The fate lying in store for you is just too cruel...But there must be some meaning to it all. There must be some meaning.

-Casshern-
(An overblown video clip clinging to the excuse of a 3 hour movie, which by all accounts aught to suck, but is strangely moving at times...and beautiful.)

-I had cereal clusters and rubarb yogurt for breakfast. Apparently we're not feeling Barbarian today...although Yogurt is a Turkish invention (and a most ingenious one at that) but that's a different story ne?
-Augh! Which reminds me; a most rivvetting discovery about Elest, courtesy of my Bro Daoud: apparently I speak Turkish with Japanese intonations. How scary is that?
-Meanwhile I am still feeling very dejected over the prospect of having blown my chance to see 'Howl's Moving Castle' yesterday. Cursed be the dozey cow who informed me that the tickets had sold out, and without so much as a note of sympathy in her voice! (sniffle)
-Any way, it's being released officially on the 23rd. Plan is to take little Saimecanii with me, but anyone else who is up for it, pray do let me know (by the way, if you don't already know, Saimecan's a lunatic (she takes after me) so it'll be fun!)
-The qourn sausages I just had don't seem to have agreed with my anatomy, I'm feeling kinda...well how to put this...I think I'm gonna be sick.
-And speaking of being sick, went for a blood test yesterday and they sucked me dry of 5 bottles worth of the stuff.

Dude: Ok, last one...
Elest: (with the needle still in her arm) 5 Bottles!? If I'm aneamic I'm just gonna get worse!
Dude: Ha ha! Yeah that's what I was thinking! (takes needle out) Ha ha...right, could you put your finger on that please, just hold it in place- (sees the claw ring) BLIMEY! THAT'S GRUESOME, AND YOU WERE AFRAID OF THE NEEDLE!
Elest: Uh, yeah. Heh heh. (thinks: Oi I was SO NOT afraid of the needle!)
Dude: I'll just pop that on there, and thats all... Are you ok?
Elest: Yeah.
Dude: You sure?
Elset: Yep, sure. (thinks: Yes mate, I always look like I'm gonna pass out. it's perfectly normal.)

-And I been thinking about Shakila's question since last night (couldn't sleep again (wasn't alone it seems.).) why is it that we never like the guys who are nice to us, and instead we indure all this heart ache from the evil bastards in our lives?
Here's a hypothesis: maybe we deserve it? -Aaah, SHI(k)T! Mom just sprayed me with the spray gun she was watering the plants with! What the hell was that for?!

Time: 12:12
Day: Wednesday 7th
Location: Uncle's Biiiiiiiiiiig snooty house.
Sounds: Listenning to my cousins iPod- and she's only got Britney Spears on it, so I suppose I can be forgiven this time arround for jamming to 'Hit me Baby One More Time'. Maaan, this brings back memories of watching the video clip with Tas and wonderring how her stomach could be so flat. Now Britney's being air brushed on her album covers and WE'RE THE ONES WITH FLAT STOMACHS AND TWO PACKS! Sometimes the world is just :) Speaking of which, either my uncles mirrors are increadibly flattering, or I've lost even more weight (al). According to my mom, grandmother and (not so curiously) my grandfather though, this is nothing to be happy about.

Mom: Elest that skirt's too big for you and you're not pretty any more.
Elest: Hmmm (-and she's thinking: I'M UGLY! I HAVE NO JOB, NO MAN IN MY LIFE AND NOW I'M UGLY!)

Paternal Grandma: Oi where the hell's your butt gone? What did you do to it? I don't like this at all, men want something to grab. What's your man gonna do?
Elest: Errrr. (-and she's thinking: Huh, like I want someone grabbing my butt...bloody sexist cypriot ideaologies.)

Granpa: (addressing grandma) She's not gonna get a man! Sorry.
Elest: ... (-and she's thinking: crap, what's he doing here? More sexist cypriot ideologies!)
Grandpa: There are two things in life a woman should not be without; a good butt and a perfect belly button...
Elest: ... (-and she's thinking: Not the drinking out of a womans belly button story again, man this stufff is x-rated and I was subjected to it since I was 10, I can't take any more of it!)
Grandpa: ...and then it's the legs and so on and so forth. BUT THOSE (finger waving) ARE PRIORITY! Now I am proud of your belly button- and you have me to thank for that by the way, because I bullied the doctors into surgically fixing it for you when you were a baby- but as for your backside, you're useless. Sorry.

-and as if that wasn't enough, I had a 'life' talk with my uncle. Which included the inevitable, unavoidable reality of being stuck in the rat race till you die, once you have kids and get a morgage. To which the only alternative is being a bumm who no one will employ if you're idle for over a year 'so get your act together now!'
Elest: ... (and she's thinking: Thanx for doing the father talk with me, I really appreciate it, however it would be nice if you could be more encouraging and less threatening because the father-shaped-space-of-an-individual called DAD already gave me the "you're useless, and you're living in a dream world, you'll never amount to anything" treatment when he was here last month.)
And then he tells me his friends daughter (my age) is dating 'a muslim bloke, and religion doesn't seem to be a problem', followed by a questioning stare.
Elest: ... has the comfortable look of someone who is with a guy, but who doesn't feel the need to tell relatives about it yet. (and she's thinking: What a load of bollocks, I'm just very good at looking cool.)

Basically I've been torn to shreads :)
The only way to not care is to pretend you're made of stone and try to stop other people being hurt the way you're hurting, if only you'd stop ignorring it.
But it builds up right?
So here's my plan: In 2046 there is this ongoing theme about how in the olden days, when people had a secret to tell they'd climb a mountain, find a hollow tree and whisper the secret inside, then they'd seal it up with mud, so it was just a little easier to bare and no one would ever no about it. Now, post not-telling-your-problems-to-other-people talk with Ryo...which made me sad (and especially coz I don't like talking about myself either, but I don't want anyone else feeling like me)...I've decided that (drum roll) we each gotta find ourselves a tree. :)

It is my melodramatic ovary's turn to ovulate and so the blasted thing has had me twisting in pain all night, and now still all morning. Ouch.
Point: From now on I shall take after my friend Olga, and exercise my rights to claim moodiness when ever it suits me, based on the instability of my merciless female hormones.
I also exercise said rights to have a chocolate binge when I like. I woul'd like one now.
...
Cursed be the one that devoured the last of the toblerone!

Uh oh, what's that smell? ...have I mentioned before that barbarian Turks have fried liver for breakefast? If it so happens to be a special occaision breakfast, they will redily partake in some fried heart and lung aswell...and while preparing a salad they have a tendancy to sticking the ends of cucumbers to their foreheads, and the foreheads of anyone within close proximity of them. Yet there must be some meaning to all of this madness coz they did rule half the world once upon a time. In fact, the only reason why Turkey's going to the dogs today is coz of this national desire to conform to secular, european and capitalist imperialist ideals in the name of modernism and freedom.
Now where the hell is the freedom in suppressing culture and history and beliefe, and human rights along with it?

I say up with fried liver in the morning, cucumbers all arround!

Augh shiKt! The post I just wrote dissapeared on me! Sodd it, can't be faffed to write it again, so instead, here:

It's a beautiful dayyy

Right, now that I've stated the obvious and gotten that out the way, lets move on. But before we go any further, to clear this matter of, you know, all the pictures on this page...firstly, the fact that they're all Japanese is quite simply an absurd coincidence, and means nothing at all. The real androgynous one below with the maniac smile, is merely there to model my future lip piercing. And Kimura Takuya on the side is merely there for comic purposes (...yes, it was actually funny to start with, but now its essence still lingers coz I can't be bothered to take it off or put something in its place). Basically, and for the last time, I do not like them.
So that just leaves Hyde (who I do like), and frankly I don't care if no one else finds him attractive, Piss off man!

Jeez, what a crap way to start the blog which marks this glorious occaision of my connection to the net eh?

And here's an even crapper way to end it: Fin.

-HAA HAA HAA, How You Like That?! :p


...Nah, ok, I'll be back when I got somthing worth writing to write.