Date: got 2 days left :(
Time: one fifteen in the morning.
Location: Bedroom.
Sounds: heavy breathing of sisters who are fast asleep in their beds behind me, and the tap tap of my keys echoing throughout the entire house...there goes the 's' and the 'g' and the 'o' and the 'm'...put 'em together and they would spell 'sgom', which would make no sense which doesn't matter any way coz it's besides the point and i've gone off on one... all u need to know is that i'm making too much noise.
Feelings: suspended in limbo.
Thoughts: What's the point of trying so hard at living if we're all gonna die any way?
Fears: Wha?...AAAH!..DAMN! I SCARED THE SH#* OUTA MYSELF! DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN!
Desires: errr, non...oh wait!..Drown my thoughts in something stupid...like manga. Why manga?

1. 'coz retail therapy in terms of clothes and shoes and pretty things don't work with me any more...
2. as for yumm yumms, i think i've gone off my central source of sustinance, namely ice cream...
3. smoking, on the other hand, is a disgusting habbit, and the blasted thing just don't seem to grow on me...
4. and last but not least; I used to be a vaguely intellectual and well read individual once upon a time, but my literature degree killed that...so now, not only do i not have the time to read for pleasure thanx to course work stress, but even emails more than a paragraph long piss me off. so next time u wana mail or text me, bear in mind that my attention span has diminished, and i can just about only do speech bubbles now. thank you.

...so, manga will be just fine thanx, and if you give me some anime to boot, i'll love u even more for it.
God al-mighty...will someone please give me some direction... I've lost my bearings, and my hope and resolve and faith and enthusiasim. Is this all? They lied to us when we were kids didn't they? They made us believe there was something more to this.
And do u know whats worse than disillusionment? ..Seeing a poor blind old man, sitting outside a mosque, selling little scraps of homemade knitware in the freezig cold, to cling to, with the last of his strength, what i have come to despise so much. it makes u think; I CAN'T EVEN FUCKING KNIT, I'M SO FUCKING USELESS, AND I GOT THE FUCKING NERVE TO FUCKING COMPLAIN!

ELEST, YOU'RE A USELSESS, MISERABLE LITTLE SHIT, JUST DIE AND DO EVERYONE A FAVOUR!

All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces.
Bright and early for their daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere.
Their tears are filling up their glasses, no expression, no expression.
Hide my head I wan'to drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow.

And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad,
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take,
When people run in circles, it's a very, very...mad world.

-Gary Jules-

boo

Aaah, having access to broadband internet 24/7 in the comfort of ones home is surely bliss :)
Hello world, this is Elest blogging live from Ankaray. Local time here is 20:20, and the weather is FREE-EEE-EEE-ZEEENG.
Untill last night I was basking in the joy of being stranded in a big house out in the suburbs of no specific country at all, with my sisters, and we were having so much fun...but thenthe reletives came over to say 'Hi Elest!', and the penny dropped. I am in Turkey.
How do I know I am in Turkey? Let me count the ways:

1. Great aunt gave me an earfull about washing the dishes and putting them face down on the counters where 'the cats get up on, don't u know?' I told her they don't get up on the counters, Dibish has too much dignity to stoop so low, and she said oh yes they do, they do it in the night when everyones sleeping. Dibish of course, who was within earshot of our little arguement, was terribly vexed at the prospect of beeing accused of such a heanous crime.
2. After dinner Grandma told me if I don't stop wearing Hijab I will never get a job. To which I replied curtly; who says I wanna work for stupid Turks any way, me gonna go Japy land, at which point I was subjected to a list of reasons why I should not go Japan, reason number one being the earthquakes.
3. Our stupid neighbours have put up Christams trees on their front porches.
4. ...sodd this, it's bringing me down...I wanna talk of the good things that have happened...

...why? because I am vaguely happy, being here with my sisters. Oh and I met the new addition to our family, the squeeky Siamese whose name is supposed to be Mocha but she don't know it yet...so I have been trying to educate her :) ...and what else happened thats nice..ummm...I've been eating well...aaand haven't been doing any work- which isn't nice actually...errr, oh yeah, I've been subjected to Turkish music, and there is this one song which rocks. it's called Yikiliyo, by Ayca, so download it, and if you can't I'll try to email it to who ever is interrested, AND U WILL BE INTERRESTED COZ IT ROCKS, AND I'M VERY PARTICULAR WHEN IT COPMES TO APPRECIATING TURKISH MUSIC SO TRUST ME!

OK I must go now coz Saimecan wants to use the net. I will blogg again later. Sayonara.

If I don't quit going to Forbidden Plannet so often, not only will I run out of funds, but the people who work there will start turning into family. I think the till guy with the red highlights is concerned about me.