I lost my wallet on Thursday.
My wallet was found.
But the wallet theives will never be.

On Saturday, (and as I tell you this, bear in mind that it's been snowing lately) at work, a heard of crazy naked men went running past the shop as they joged down Camden High Street...in nothing but their underwear. No, I don't know what to make of that either...it made me laugh though, for lack of anything else to do.

Oh yeeeeeees, and before I go I have one last thing to say. Drum roll please:
Check out my little Saimecanii's photography at Diviant Art! here's a direct link to her spot: http://raquhel.deviantart.com/ I'm so proud of her. she's so tallented, Mashallah!

Tally ho.

DIE WALLET THEIVES!
I lost my wallet. Thank You.
Now Lets move on.

To all mankind they were addressed, those cries for help still ringing in our ears! But at this place, at this moment of time, all mankind is us, whether we like it or not. Let us make the most of it, before it is too late! Let us represent worthily, for once, the foul brood to which a cruel fate consigned us! What do you say? It is true that when with folded arms we weigh the pros and cons we are no less a credit to our species. The tiger bounds to the help of his congeners without the least reflection, or else he slinks away into the depths of the thicket. but that is not the question. What are we doing here, that is the question. And we are blessed in this, that we happen to know the answer. Yes, in this immense confusion one thing alone is clear. We are waiting for Godot to come.

-Samuel Beckett: Waiting for Godot-

Today's lesson children, is that if you sit arround waiting for your life to get some closure, not only are you gonna be disillusioned, but you're also gonna waste it away looking for things to pass the time. Basically, you either get busy living, or get busy dying...and that, is a quote from Shawshank Redemption, just so you can't sue me.
There. That concludes today's lesson.
You can run along now and forget about it.

And as a side note, we will not go to Starbucks again. Because Starbucks charges £1.75 for Hot Chocolate they are too stingy to put milk in. I've had it confirmed, by a branch manager no less, that 'StarBucks Hot Chocolate is made of powder chocolate and hot water madame, therefore it could not have made u sick.' ...Elest eyes him in the light of this unexpected revelation 'you mean to tell me there is no milk in your hot chocolate?' ...Manager, unmoved and unashamed 'No madame.' ...Elest, obstinately 'I don't care, this hot chocolate is OFF I tell you, I want my money back.'

Elest got her money back in the end. End of charming little anecdote.

Moral: If you don't want your money going to Commercial Imperialists cum Zionists, you will have to give up Star Bucks choclate cheesecake. And what is the liklihood of that happening? Pshaw! what do you take me for, someone with willpower? What's that? You wouldn't go so far? I'LL SHOW YOU WILLPOWER YOU STUPID FAT HOBBIT! mark me, from now on, no StarBucks...now the following question demands some acknowledgement, because I wrote it differently about 3 times during the past paragraph: how do you write StarBucks? With the space? without the space? 2 joined words? one word? 2 seperate words? Who gives a Shikt right? Yes. I agree whole heartedly.

Why do I waste my time doing nothing? I am waiting for the closure that is Godot, because I will never learn.

Ps. if you haven't noticed, the object of Elest's effections is currently Edward Elrick...sigh, beans will never be the same again :)
Pps. Now say 'Hagane no Renkinjitsushi' without falterring, or my little blond Alchemist up there will shock you with his mean lightning bolts.

AAAAAAAAAAAARGH! the thing I posted yesterday was a mistake, I was supposed to save it under draft not post it, but by mistake I must have clicked post instead of...well..OH FOR GOD'S SAKE, YOU GET THE IDEA RIGHT? rIGHT? good. This calls for a reposting of a condensed version of yesterdays accident, among other things:

Now...ehem.

AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! NOT THE CHEESE!
Ok, I take you up on your OFFER love :) How many posts do I have to do this for?
And if you already read the mess that was on here yesterday, you may skip items 1 and 2 from the itemised paragraphs below, arranged in said manner for the benefit of African Pygmies. Why? What are you dumb?

1. One cannot fully enjoy anime, when one is alone: For there is no joy in squealing by yourself when a great and utterly unexpected twist occurs in the plot. And neither is there any joy in singing to the cheesy openning music, which eventually grows on you without warning. For squeal and sing all you like, you will only ammount to an insane person, locked away in your empty flat, the nosey neighbours pressing their ears against their walls, trying to make some sense of your lunatic raving. A very Ganz-ing situation indeed, I'm afraid. Shikt! Saimecaniii, where are you? I'm alone in my sadness, and it's not very becoming :(
2. FULL METAL ALCHEMIST ROCKS! and with a name as stupid as FULL METAL ALCHEMIST you can bet your smart little panties, it's gonna be the best anime I've watched since FRUITS BASKET- which still reserves the number 1 spot on the stupid name list of the bestest animes!
3. The name FRUITS BASKET it actually does have a significance when you watch the show...something about a game Tohru used to play when she was a kid and how they called her a rice ball and...oh I sodd this, I'm bored of myself.

It is at times like this that I appreciate doing wacky courses like Experimental Theatre. No, I have not been daydreaming about sharing the same oxygen with Joshua in an Experimental Theatre seminar, you embicil! I have been reading Samuel Beckett.
Now a few questions for those of you who, by some cruel turn of fate, have been subjected to Jarry, Artaud or Genet...or better still, all three of them, over the course of your lifetimes:
Did you like UBU? Did UBU make you grin like an idiot at your little pea green book, while the other passangers on the bus gave you suspicious, sideways glances? Did UBU enrich your argot volcabulary, and give you the chance to rejoice in the brilliance of 'Shikt'? Or how about The Maids? Did The Maids provide you with new and exciting phrases to quote in your meaningless day to day existence? Are you still yelling 'Those Gloves' and 'The Kahva!', in sudden, quiverring fits of dementia?!
If you've answered 'YES!' to all the above, then my friend, Waiting for Godot will change your life :) It will enlighten you and show you the wisdom in the ways of the absolutely and utterly nonsensicle.

ESTRAGON: Then adieu.
POZZO: Adieu.
VLADIMIR: Adieu.
POZZO: Adieu.
[Silence. No one moves.]
VLADIMIR: Adieu.
POZZO: Adieu.
ESTRAGON: Adieu.
[Silence]
POZZO: And thank you.
VLADIMIR: Thank you.
POZZO: Not at all.
ESTAGON: Yes yes.
POZZO: No no.
VLADIMIR: Yes yes.
ETRAGON: No no.
[Silence]
POZZO: I don't seem to be able...[long hesitation]...to depart.
ESTRAGON: Such is life.

To conclude this blog: Elest is not all sound upstairs any more, and one wonders why she is always writing about Experimental Theatre...perhaps it makes her feel normal. Thank you.

I feel like pie crust.
No, actually, I think I feel like a hug :(

ESTRAGON: [Turning to look at the boots.] I'm leaving them there. [Pasue] Another will come, just as...as...as me, but with smaller feet, and they'll make him happy.

'Since one needs constant energy to walk but non so to be a freckled redhead, the former is an action and the latter a state.'
-spewd by Ziqiang Shi ...is quite simply random idiocy.

'Not those gloves! Those disgusting gloves! How many times have I told you to leave them in the kitchen?'
-overly dramatised by a man in women's clothes and a very thick indian accent ...is the epitome of wisdom. Kind of like 'AAARGH the kahva's gone cold!' ..you get the gist. Yes, I am still haunted by that performance.

Speaking of performances, last night's play was...hmmm how can I put this without sounding mean...Not Shakespeare..?? or Genet..since we've alredady brought him up.
You know what it actually was? It was a mirror held up to us. It was the image of our lives, of the way humanity is going down and ignoring all the divine signs. Mugensha's, 'The Feast of the Ants' was about ants, who don't realise they're ants. Us. We. Am I Making Sense? No. Ok I'll Stop Then. ...but I suppose it was good in that sense- was it Hamza Yusuf who said something about Poets and Fools always being the ones to hold a mirror up at society? Yes I think it was. So yeah, there was definately a mirror there (and not in the litteral sense) ...and when the little people crawled off stage, I definatley fealt empty, worthless and small. hmmm, do you reakon John Stikes will be happy if I print out this blogg and hand it in as my mid-term review? No, I don't think he will, because I have not talked enough about transvestite maids and thick Indian accents and Kahvas...instead I've dreamed of them, and wolken up yelling: Gloves!

Do I have anything else to say? Yes as a matter of fact I do:
An increadibly Haido-fied Jap is sitting in front of me. I can't see his face, but his hair rocks!
Back to Genet, who I think was gay. End of topic. Now lets move on. Dazzel the cat was, to Sara's surprise, certainly wearing a cravat. He was making a big hoo-haa out of looking pompus and pretentious. Speaking of which, Sarah brought up today, to Elest's agony, that there is a Byronic thing going on with Joshua's wardrobe...Elest of course failed to notice this yesterda, because when Joshua was clearly directing his words to Sarah and her, damnit!, she was too busy staring at her boots!
Yes. Yesterday Elest blanked Joshua. Who could have been talking to her. (wild cheering and applause. thump noises here and there as few of the faint hearted amongst the audience pass out.)

Argh! The Haido-fied Jap is not good looking...in which case he is not Haido-fied!...but his hair, most definately is. ...wow (Elest stares rudely) ...how does he keep it sticking up like that?...(Elest is now gawking like the village idiot)...thats sooo cool.

I Just failed my Japanese progress test. Thank you.
It's Sarah's 21st Birthday and so far being 21 has only seemed to give her griefe.
And I'm afraid, we are all still of the opinion that men suck.
Ayame: Oh come now, you can be a little less generalising.
Elest: Hey wha? Where did you come from?
Ayame: Greetings everyone! And how are you doing Elest? (he says, very suggestively.)
Yuki: (appering out of no where) I should have snapped u in two when I had the chance!
Elest: what tha- you too?!
Ayame: Children I understand that my sudden arrival has you dellerius with excitement, but calm yourselves please!
Kyo: I can't take much more of this, your killing me. (on his hands and knees, and with an exhausted, pained voice.) Do us all a favour will you, go away!
Ayame: That's just rude, and besides, there’s something I have to do. Yuki, while I'm here it's the perfect chance to deepen our bond as brothers.
Yuki: (sarchastically sweet) I have a better idea, why don’t I drown u in the lake?
Elest: What lake? There's no lake here, this is my Blog!!
Ayame: (to Yuki) Anything you want, as long as it gives us some quality time together.
Yuki: On second thought, go drown yourself!
Elest: Hello? Why am I being ignored here, this is MY BLOG!!
Hydo: (to Ayame) umm, I wouldn't if I were you. The last time we went for a swim, Ken peed in it.
Elest: AAAGH, IT'S HAIDO!..and..oh my God! Haido what are you wearing?!
Kyo: You idiot, what are you doing in a dress?! Don't you already have a big enough complex as it is over that girly face o' yours?
Elest: Haido, people are definitely gonna get the wrong idea if you dress that way.
President Takai: A valid point Elest Ali of 3rd year English. And while I can’t tolerate that peach hair of yours, Hatsuharu's white hair is more unacceptable by far!
Elest: Hatsuharu? (turns and finds Haru standing behind her) why am I not surprised? (raises her gaze to the heavens) Lord if you have any more adversity awaiting me, just hit me with it all now, I can't take them sneaking up on me one by one!
Kyo: (to Haru) About time! You're three days late you know that?
Haru: (increadibly dignified) Well I had left on Sunday with the intention of coming here, but I was swept away into the heart of a dark urban wilderness and it took me three days to find my way out.
President Takai: Ehem. I appreciate the way you’re trying to change the subject Kyo Sohma, but about their hair-
Yuki: President Takai, it's their natural colour.
President Takai: Oh Yuki, so nice to see you, but natural colour? I can see that their hair-lines are black!
Yuki: Yes, that's natural too.
President Takai: And I suppose wearing this dress is natural for you too, Hideto Takaria? Have you no pride as a man? You have best change your ways and your clothes, before this incident becomes the ruin of your life!
Haido: But this puffty outfit...sniffle, sniffle...looks good on me. (begins sobbing)
Elest: Please, don't yell at him any more.
President Takai: If I'm yelling, Elest Ali, it is to be sure he hears this advice, which should have been obvious to any one with common sense.
Haru: (who had been silent till now, snaps and turns into his dark alter ego) Shut up! Quit shouting like your king of the friggin' world, your making my ears bleed you bastard!
Everyone: oh no! (Haido freaked out by Haru's transformation, squeals like a girl)
Haru: Now I’ve got some common sense for you. If I wore a tie, it wouldn’t change who I am. If I had no piercings it wouldn't mean I'm nice. And if my hair was black it wouldn't stop me from kicking your ass! Who do you think you are any way? Ha?
Elest: Umm, Haru, don't hurt him please, children have access to this site.
Kyo: Yeah leave him alone, he's just an idiot.
Haru: You shut up, you stupid cat!
Kyo: Don't call me stupid, you dirty brat!
Haido: Anoooo...minnasan, we were arguing over me, remember?
Haru: That's right. Haido should wear the clothes that look best on him.
President Takai: No! There's a dress code, it's not fair to the other students!
Haru: You stubborn idiot! What would u do if it was Yuki wearing a girls dress ha?
Yuki: Haru cut it out or I will cut you off!
Haru: (suddenley very sweet) Aaah, have my words...made you angry?
President Takai: (Who had been visualising Yuki in a dress) It's beautiful!
Yuki: Stop imagining me!
(Haido starts weeping waterfalls because he's no longer the centre of attention)
President Takai: You're a worthy oponant Hatsuharu Sohma...
...but Your hair is still unacceptable, and you'll never convince me that's your natural colour!
(Haru grabs president takai by the front of his shirt and marches off with him into the boy's toilets. Their departure, and the absence of their yelling, suddenly leaves behind a uncomfortable silence.)
Eelst: Ummm...my my, isn't the weather...well, bleak today? Ha ha...oh but, what ho, what ho what ho!
(the door of the boys toilets reopens and president Takai and an oddly smug Haru come back.)

President Takai: (cleaning his glasses) Impresssive evidence. There are still many strange things in this world unknown to me.
Everyone: He didn't?!
Kyo: I think he did!
Haido: What? What did he?

Ehem..
Today I'm posting twice.
Because.
This is a flash-back-cum-film-reel of the past 2 days up untill the craziest moment of my week.
Played backwards.

Yesterday evening: Elest committed a grave sin at Farhana's house, and wants to own up for it because she feels very bad. she told her friends something about a mutual friend of theirs which she shouldn't have done under merciless Soviet torture.
Moral: This goes to show how bad a person she has become.
Yesterday Afternoon: Elest didn't study for Japanese, and didn't do any rerading. Instead she cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and made chocky digestive rolls (from tea buiskets, but she didn't say 'chocky tea buisket rolls' because she doesn't know how to spell 'buisket')
Moral: Elest is very good at making plans but has a handicap at implimenting them. she should get a disabled badge and put it on her desk during the Japanese test next week.
Yesterday Morning: Elest didn't go into Uni for the principles of English language teaching class, so that she could revise for Japanese.
Moral: If you get home as late and exhausted as Elest tends to do every day of the week, you are very liable to sleep till 12:30 and wake up with a- 'AAARGH! IS THAT THE WORLD? IT'S HORRIBLE, MAKE IT GO AWAY!'
Thursday Night: Elest and fellow course-lings went to see Jean Gene's 'Maids' at the Lyric Theatre.
Moral: Weird.
Thursday Evening: Elest had Sushi and Ben and Jerry's Ice cream for dinner, and pranced arround central London in her biggest New Rocks.
Moral: Yum. Ouch.
Thursday afternoon: Elest spoke to Joshua for the first time.
Moral: She is an idiot foo' who still doesn't know what room number the 2:00 Experimental Theatre seminar is for future reffrence.

I'm very sorry Madame, but I'm afraid...the Kahva's gone cold!! AAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Last night, Elest did not sleep. Non can know the terrible and wonderfull trappings of her warped mind, but few can veture a wild guess. There was one woman, however, who could match her madness, and by some ominous turn of fate, these two increadibly troubled people knew each other! In any case, the rest of the world slept soundly on the night of February 04 2005, and lucky for them too, that Elest and Misba had nothing more lethal at thier disposal, than a pair of mobile phones...And yet, what ensued through the late hours of the night and early hours of the day, made no human sense at all:

01:18 am
Misba: You know what would be funny? If our lecturers were in a fight club...picture this: Stokes punches Gordon in the eye, Gordon cheats and pulls out a stick whilst grinning and raising his eyebrow...and Ganz runs as fast as he can, feathers all over the place :)

01:28 am
Elest: ..Elest starts yelling: 'the Khava's gone cold!' But then she sees Joshua and squeaks, which gets Misba pissed off, and she promptly lands one across his jaw, sending him flying just as Markee walks in, at which point Carla, who was stalking him, jumps onto his back, clinging to his neck, and Bunny gets terrified and faints. more feathers fly.

01:39 am
Misba: And all along, Nokes is waiting patiently in the wind and rain muttering 'yeeeees'..coz he was too old and short, while Bob Mills tells him to get off his fucking porch..

01:45 am
Elest: Well, then Clare Brant starts whispering sweet nothings in Stokes's corner, to offer him moral support in the face of Gordon's stick, at which Abu makes a phalic refference, pissing off the already pissed off Sarah, who throws her boot at him, misses and hits the Peacock Smurf instead, and Gordon yells: 'I win! I win! I'm the greatest Jacob!'

01:57 am
Misba: Stokes whimpers in the corner, a broken man..Ganz re-enters and goes 'Oops, I thought this was my lecture room'..but Markee grabs him before he can leave, for he knows too much...Nokes continues to wait outside..and Gordon pokes Peacock in the eye with his stick, claiming it's an accident.

01:56 am
Elest: Lol, I'm laughing aloud to myself, maybe we should stop now..?

02:07 am
Misba: 'Never!!' Yells Gordon. 'Just coz I'm winning, you wanna quit Elest, you spoilt sport. What was that? Oh, I thought you made a noise.'..while he is momentarily distracted, Markee seizes the stick, Carla cheers, Sarah chucks her other boot at Bunny, Ganz flees and Bob Stares at the wall. Nokes continues to wait, and realises he looks a bit like a Hobbit...

02:17am
Elest: and at that very moment Golem jumps out from underneath Christian's messy hair, grabs Nokes and runs off, whisperring: 'My Precioussss' in his ear, and Misba declares him the best looking guy at uni, which upsets the Pretentious Lot terribly, but the person who takes the greatest offence is Ganz, who thinks he's a dashing young blade!

02:30 am
Misba: 'No champagne for you!' cries the distressed Ganz, his bottom lip trembling..at which point, Rivkah eneters and says 'I am Gandalf!' ..Gordon gets confused and offers the empty seat next to him to Elest..and Handbag Lady rushes in crying 'Theif! Theif! Nokes nicked my handbag!' Peacock gallanty begins the chase to save the day..

02:36 am-
Elest: AAAAAAAAARG! You win! I can't possibly beat your imagination, it's pot induced!...unless...hang on, I got it! the perfect ending: they all stand on the tables in 18B and sing: 'I'M THE ONLY GAY ESKIMOOOO IN MY TRIIIIBE' at the top of their lungs, and Bob Mills is moved to tears, and Peacock finally comes out. Fin :)

02:46 am
Misba: Well I just wrote an ending too...suddenly everyone vanishes. and Misba and Elest realise they have serious mental issues, as they skip along happily to the soft walls of their home in the country, where Sarah awaits them with a cuppa tea and a couple of Aero bars :) good night xx

-Approximately two hours later, one was still standing-

04:17 am
Eelst: would you say my stupid little fixation for Joshua is also one of my 'father figure' issues? Maybe I get these paternal vibes from the guy..? By the way I've adopted Gandalf as my great-grandfather, and yes, Im still awake, and getting weirder:)...hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm..Gay eskimooo-ooo..hmmm hmmm..oh, and it's Avril La-UBU! Shkit! Thank You.

Date: A Thursday which feels like something between a Friday and an annoying Thursday which feels like a Friday and a Saturday that feels crap.
Time: Twelvefourty.
Location: Uni, hot, stuffy Paws room on fourth floor.
Feeling: Like I've just been woken up and I'm looking for the insolent bugger, responsible!
Hearing: The communal humm of PC's- and it's kinda freaky; like they're all talking to each other; like we are a handful of frail little humans, cluelessly sitting in a room that is so wired and buzzing and hot from the mighty, manipulative presence of these machienes which are just waiting to be set off like a ticking time bomb of artificial intellegence, and crush us in their vicious clasp!
Imagination: Kinda tippsy and drunk-like...like how you find yourself thinking of the most ridiculously mundane or irrelevant things in the aftermath of a devastating occurance, or while your liying on the bathroom floor watching smoke wafting above you...and the cherub babies in the stupid French soap advert, clinging to the pitiful excuse of Magy's bathroom decorative poster, are pissing you off!
Status: Early-morning-seminar late-ee.
Desires: Ben and Jerry's 'Core' Ice-cream Sundae (sigh!).
Fears: Dying like Samwise Gamjee.
Samwise Gamjee didn't die idiot: He will do. And he'll die in his little Hobbit home, with its round yellow door, surrounded by his little Hobbit children and his little Hobbit wife. Not like all the brave humans and elves who were killed in the last battles, under them giant scary elephants!
Aspirations: A sounder state of faith and sooul, by the time I break my fast this evening.
Purpose: I don't know, that's what's been botherring me all my life.
Immediate purpose: Pray, and attend the Two o'clock seminar for Experimental theatre.
Financial situation: Still skint. the 'Royal sum of £500' which was supposed to be transferred into my account 'Tomorrow' which was 3 days ago, seems to be taking royaly long to do so, or there is a royal problem.
Email situation: Got, not one but two emails from my Saimecaniii, with lots of pictures in it!
Hair: Pink...(examines nails, with vague irritation)...the label on the can of hair dye, distinctly said 'riot red', but it turned out pink...funny, that, isn't it? I suppose anything's better than blond though.
Interior of Refrigerator: Is furnished with a sufficient amount of food to get by on for a while, on a diet of boiled vegetables, tuna or chicken salami sandwiches, noodles, cereal, lamb-chops, and one grand night of curry! I say, we will eat like kings for the next few weeks, Elest, providing you're home early enough to not be too tired to cater for your basic sustenance with something other than a cheap, rip-off meal of sandwiches or miso-soup. Which reminds me, I wants to go Japan Centre for more of that...Which reminds me of the Jet Programme...damn, which reminds me of my confusion, and loss, and lack of purpose all over again :(

Augh, I give up...Experimental Theatre seminar, here I come...woohoo'!!'.

Ps. was supposed to paste some of the cool pic's Saimecan sent me, but there's been a problem, and I don't have enough time to fix it, but I promise to do so later. Watch this space :)