Memory Loss

Memory loss; oughtn't be something necessarily attributed to old age or a blow to the head.
Memory loss is often the mind's only defence against every terrible or wonderful experience that has the potential to make our lives unbearable.
You asked me once if I was able to forget my ex; My first heart break.
My answer, to your disbelief, was simply 'yes.'
Under the dust cover of the basement-relegated thrives those memories my mind has chosen to demobilize. And very successfully so. If I dig and rummage deep, I could surface with some tasteless nuggets, but my initial encounter in this attempt will be with a blank. White noise. Static. It takes a great deal of energy to overcome, and energy is what I lack. So heeding the deterrent, I tuck tail and retreat. I pull the plug. I choose euthanasia.
I forget.
I have forgotten.
I'm forgetting still.
It's a small death. One memory. One tender feeling at a time.
But it's a vital death. For how else can I keep living when you too have died in me?