If you are increadibly observant like me (Hah!) you probably would have noticed 3 things today. Firstly, that I've added my beautiful Faaria to my contacts list. Secondly, that it is cold and riany outside. and Thirdly, that my click click section now bears the link to Ororon's pic under a new title. Yes, Ororon is dead. He died at the end of the final volume of the Manga. First they pushed him to his limits although he was already weak and wounded, then a big stupid giant boy working for his brother Oscar crushed him. then when he was still standing they tore out his gutts. And still, in his last minute he used his final ounce of strength to conjur up a dragon from the depths of hell, and do away with his enemy..."Oscar we have made too many mistakes now!"
:( never under estimate the power a comic book can have on someone who is increadibly bored.

Ehem...So whats new? Nothing. Nothing's new. I've got some smoked salmon at home, and the thought of it makes me happy :) other than that errr...well Presently I am reading 'The Dragon Can't Dance' by Earl Lovelace and it is a seriously good book. So for those interrested in postcolonial black culture in the slums of trinidad, (and as boring as I've made that sound, you'd be surprised) I urge u to get your hands on a copy of this book. Beautifully written and so vivid, and vibrant and colourfull and culturally sturated, you can almost taste it. Yeah you know I'm hungry, and you knw I been reading this book for hours on end all night and all morning yesterday and today, so that I is not sound upstairs.
With that asside, and on the subject of tasting and hunger (not that I'm hungry really, just badly craving a Ben and Jerry's Milk Shake), so far Ramadan is...well lonely. its especially lonely when i wake up for Sahoor and there aint no one to laugh with at stupid not-funny-things. and no one to squeal with over the bathroom sink, pushing eachother to spit toothpaste foam into the basin. then no one to have water fights with, when somebody getts splattered with toothpaste, or gets wet and gets hungry (damn that word keeps rearing its ugly head) for vengence.
No. Sahoor is quite, and lonely.
And these past few days I've realised how much talking I no longer do.
I miss you guys. I miss you so much. for days after you left I kept feeling like the only 3 people in the world who accept me whole heartedly, in spite of all my flaws and short comings, in spite of the big mess that I am, who accepted me for who and what I am; a girl-boy-woman hybrid clinging to the pitiful excuse of a human being- those people have gone.
I've lost them, and I feel so lost now. For the first time i realise how big the world is and how small I am and how small and insignificant every single person is, and how alone we are, all of us, and I wonder about hope and dreams and expectation. who are we, in our endless wanting? What use is any of it?
Yet the strangest thing is, this sad kind of loneliness is starting to become comfortable, and I don't know if I want to be found.