• Maroon 5- she will beloved is playing ceaslessly in my head...and I haven't listened to it. havent listened to music since Ramadan started...of course, except those u can't help hearing like in shops and stuff.
• Eyes are sore, a general feeling of ickyness in the pitt of my stomach, and serious fatigue; I think all of this has to do with the fact that I slept on a sofa for an hour and a half, after 6 in the morning and woke up at 8 to make it to 10:00 seminar.
• So no, my appearance is not very pretty today: no makeup, yesterdays clothes, black circles under eyes...don't think i want to run into anyone cute in uni...actually, scrap that, i don't give a crap, if i did i wouldn't have come in like this in the first place. Screw cute guys.
• Spiritual state is pitiful, so much so that Tas resents and condems some of the stuff I am doing in Ramadan, which don't help, but I thank you tas for your honesty. I hate myself.
• and picking up on that vital point...I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF I HATE MYSELF
• If u think thats scary, then u will be further thrilled to know that non of the above was coppied and pasted, i wrote them out individually...and i can go on, but i won't
• in fact, i should probably stop writing bloggs one of these days, coz the reality of it being read by other people just doesn't register sometimes, and at this rate I'm gonna end up scaring all my friends off with the amount of crap i'm spewing out from the depths of me.
• And i think...I think I need to start making myself believe that there is good in this world still...that there is good in people.
• But post-Richard the III leacture/seminar ponderring, in regards to villains, has conjured up this question: Is it not the villains resignation to being bad which drives him so far in commiting heinous crimes? And isn't it the surety of being iredemably bad which makes him resigned to being so? Isn't it the fact that he can find no good in himself which prevents him from believing that there might be good those that he hurts or commits injustices against so easily, because they have no value, no importance as far as he is concerned? ...Because as far as he's concerned all men are just foul?
• And so the question is: how do you begin to have faith in people when you have no faith in yourself?