I dreamt of Joshua (a.k.a Bandana-boy. credit goes to Misba as usual.) last night.
This may have had something to do with bumping into Tim on the tube home yesterday. Speaking of which, seeing Tim made me worry about the future again: About the next step defining the course of my entire life...and how do I know I haven't already taken it, in between the waiting and the thinking of what to do?
And talking to my Bro this afternoon made me realise that the jobs we do shouldn't have to define us. But the society we live in is so tailored for that kind of outlook, and so we end up making it our reality. I've got my priorities mixed up.

Get this: Mary 24, is a designer. she shares a flat with her friend. She has just started her first job so she doesn't have much money. She loves cooking dinner for her friends and relaxing at home. She loves exercise and keeping fit but hates competitive sports. When she goes out, she goes clubbing and to rock concerts. She would like to be in a band.
This is from the Pre-intermediat English text book I have to teach out of. See anything wrong with it? No, right? EXACTLY!

Mary, a young designer, is what you would call a fairly successful individual, who has some interresting interrests, a good social life and time for her hobbies.
Otherwise known as; a good load of bloody nothing. She aint even a stain, nay, a flee-bitten speck on the face of this earth. She's one of those entities who's gonna live and die ('Oh Covent Garden cobble-stones, will you forget me also?' style) and no one will be remotely aware of her purposeless existence. If there was a Mary shaped space in the world, we wouldn't be at a great loss, or for want of much.
And yet, I could have found nothing wrong with it.
But I do.

I'm not gonna be a friggin' Mary!
And no society's gonna tailor my preception into seeing people through a Mary-measure.

I've gotta go away somewhere. Even if it's just for a bit.