The end of the age of innocence, this day last year.
And innocence is not only in the child's mind. It cannot be measured with age or maturity. It doesn't relate to a key number of landmarks in every human's life-time.
Even in the lack of innocence is innocence.
A white icing dolloped, mini-sponge cake is offered to me. I consume it and wonder why. I don't even like sponge cake. And then I think about my Great-grandfather and Nene unexpecedly...and her room, decorated with Greek and Cypriot trappings. The clutter was a neat and meticulous one. There was barely an inch of wall visible between all the pictures and posters. Her deceased husband's photo hung above the TV and I never forget Patsy-the-piss-Artist telling her he was a very handsome man. A small old lady, with jet black hair was very proud then. She only knew how to write her name, and that she could do in 'eski Turkce' ...Arabic text.

Maybe I shouldn't care about stuff like money. Maybe I should say pish and shake my fist at my persisent overdraft, not bother thinking twice about responsibility, and just go man. Just go. With the world gone so wrong, you can't help but think it's all ending for us sooner or later ...it's only fair isn't it? And what am I doing getting married any way, with the mental maturity of a 17 -year old? Why try to be a wife where there is no need?
Razaul said i looked 21 yesterday. That's gotta count for something.

To think the pain would resonate thus far, and internalise with some deeper hurting. Something you cannot cry out over or cry about. I never thought I would think to regret this time last year. But now I do. I regret...Shmendrik: I am sorry, I have done you evil and cannot undo it. Unicorn: No. Unicorns are in the world again. No sorrow will live in me as long as that joy, save one, but I thank you for that part too. Fare well good magician, I will try to go home.

Happy Birthday, flinch shaped space.
24-years ago tomorrow, you were brought screaming into this world.
Now forever keep your silence.