Self involved, self inspired and self motivated; Salman Rushdie is litirary mastrubation. I may be a snob, but the man is overrated and far from exceptional enough to warrant a knighthood. Ordinarly I couldn't care less. A knighhood means nothing to me, nor anyone who matters...not when the likes of Elton John can qualify for one. In that light then, one questions the motives of her imperialness and all the puppeteers who prop up the royal Miss Havisham.

Sereously though, has the Queen actually ever read anything by this guuy? Can I imagine her snuggling up on her throne with a copy? No. I can, however, imagine her as that (racist, prejudice, homophobic) old woman in the Little Britain sketch, who spews out a fountain of vomit when she finds out the book she's been reading is by 'That Indian fellow with the fatwa.' Now that's a more probable scenario.

So Britain gives the all mighty up yours to Muslims, and some angry Pakistani's have gone for a walk together. This morning across the Metro front cover is a burning Union flag above which the culprits appear to be more blissfully overjoyed than remotely angry. To top it off, they hold up tasteless pictures of a sinister bearded man with glasses. In one of them he points his index finger like he's telling someone off.
He thinks: this pose will boost my charisma.
We think: who is this man, and what has he to do with Salaman Rushdie or the Queen?
Perhaps in Pakistan, flag-burning occaisions are a great opportunity for advertising and spreading political propoganda otherwise irrelevant to the subject matter. Imagine...amdist an angerred crowd of fist shaking, flag burning and head bobbing one man raises a sign that reads 'Rajput Honey Mangoes: Vorld Class!'...immortalised on the cover of the Times. Classic.

With all the joking aside, a conclusuion is due, and here it is.

Salman Rushdie is an eccentric who pissed off the wrong people with his desire to pull off something meaninglessly contravertial for the publicity stunt of his carreer. He is also a spineless, ireverant Bastard.

The Queen is a dirty, old un-dying witch, for awarding a knighthood to a man who caused a number of deaths, a great deal of chaos including political strife between the UK and Iran, offence to the extremist and un-extremist alike, and shamelessly direspected the sanctity of one of the largest religions in the world and the memory of a man who was human perfection, all to no apparent end. The world has learnt nothing from Satanic Verses but ugliness in all of its forms.

And finally, to the enraged mob of layabouts who get together at the prospect of some flag-burning activity everytime the opportunity rears its head, our sentiment is this:
By inciting violence and acting like a pack of animals, you are not only affirming the Media's portrayal of Islam being synonymous with terror, but you are also doing the greatest wrong against a man who came as a blessing to mankind. Congragulations, in your attempts to look big as Muslims, you've succeeded in establishing a new low in the art of irony; You've corrupted Mohammad's (saw) message of peace by professing to defend it with your violence.