I used to have some depth to me, I swear...it just seems to have gone. Traceless like. And I have this sneaking suspicion that it may have something to do with the emotional armour I've been clad in for so long. Which is useful for when you don't want to let things get to you, but then, while it's keeping out the crap, non of the stuff which actually does matter can penetrate either...and it leaves you out of synch from that more subtle rythem of life, that plays itsself on a level apart from the obvious.
And you can't face a night sky or the sound of rain any more. You feel guilty. Like you owe them something, and you've put off paying up, for so long.

What I'm trying to say is: I can't break down yet.
But DAMNIT, it's killing me.

Great, and it's 2:00 in the morning now.